16-year-old refuses mom's demands to use her weekend job earnings to buy essentials for stepsiblings, grandparents get involved: ‘I didn't give her any money’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 29, 2025 5:00 PM EST

Many parents need the reminder that just because they pay for everything their kids need, it doesn't mean their children owe them anything in return. In fact, making sure your kids get all the essential things they need for life is one of the most basic requirements for any parent, and shouldn't be the responsibility of anyone else. It's especially not the responsibility of any of your other children.

When the 16-year-old daughter in the story below started working in the summer, she never intended that money to go to her mom or stepdad, even if they couldn't afford to take care of their other children. It's not the eldest's responsibility to take on the financial burden of the family, and she shouldn't pay for her parents' mistakes.

Which is exactly why she refused to give her mom any money when she asked for it, and refused it again when the requests became demands. Eventually, the grandparents, the teen's late dad's parents, got involved to ensure Mom doesn't take what is not hers.

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  • 01

    AITAH for not buying needed stuff for my stepsiblings and never helping out my stepfamily or mom financially?

    My parents broke up when I (16f) was 2 months old. Then my dad died when I was 6.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 02
    A young woman looking down through a reflection
    via Creative Christians

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 03
    My mom and my dad's family never got along and things got worse after dad died and he left everything he had to me, but in a trust with my grandparents watching over it and not my mom.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 04
    My mom felt she deserved money. My grandparents (and dad) felt like she would spend it on herself and not on me, which is true.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 05
    My mom has spending issues and she's overspent before and left my grandparents or my aunts supporting me and buying me the things I need.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 06
    5 years ago my mom got married and her husband had two kids of his own (2 and 3 then, 7 and 8 now).
    via Kaiyioro
  • 07
    My mom's husband works full time and my mom works part time. But they have lots of money issues and my grandparents make sure I'm taken care of.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 08
    They buy toiletries just for me, they send food, they gave me a card before with money loaded onto it.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 09
    They always make sure I have what I need for school too. In June I got a summer/weekend job.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 10
    I still work weekends now that school's back so have extra money but I deposit it into my bank account.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 11
    When I started making my own money my mom's husband said I should start paying rent.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 12
    Mom said no. She decided I should make sure my stepsiblings are okay and that they have what they need.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 13
    She told me I could buy them some toiletries or even some snacks for extra food.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 14
    But I didn't do that. Last month my mom and her husband got into an even worse financial position and they started going to a charity to help them get essentials.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 15
    Young woman looking at bill sadly
    via Karola G

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    My mom told me it would be a good time to start buying things my stepsiblings needed.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 17
    She talked about school stuff they needed and toiletries again. But there was also talk of basic clothes too that were new or better fitting.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 18
    She said they wouldn't need to use the charity as much and the kids would fit in better at school and feel less bad about having so much less.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 19
    I didn't. Then my mom told me if I won't help the steps because | don't see them as my family, then I should help her.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 20
    She told me she would love me forever if I started giving even 80 a month so we wouldn't be in as bad of a position.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 21
    She told me I never had the same struggles because I always had my dad's family behind me but they don't care if her, her husband or my stepsiblings starve/waste away.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 22
    I still didn't give any money and then my mom started getting mad and her husband's pissed 99% of the time he's around me.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 23
    He called me ungrateful when he "took me on as his own" and shit but he didn't and I'm glad because he doesn't do everything he could to make life better for his kids.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 24
    He turned down a promotion at his job and he refuses to get a second job or do something else for money.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 25
    Then he complains that other people (mostly) me) won't either. My grandparents told me to let them know if money ever goes missing because they will make sure mom or her husband pay the consequences if they steal from me.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 26
    Luckily they don't know how to access money from my card so it's all good. But my mom has really been laying on the guilt trip because I said no.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 27
    Secret_Double_9239 NTA but also if their financial situation is so bad your grandparents might be able to use it to get custody of you. Also I'm pretty sure it's illegal to try and charge minors rent, so you really can spend your money how you want.
    via Secret_Double_9239
  • 28
    OP Kaiyioro My grandparents already tried but the judge said it didn't matter what I wanted or what they wanted. The important thing was I had a living parent who would have custody first. And that I wasn't going without the essentials. The fact my mom and her husband accept help from charities meant the court saw it as they were doing enough and that was despite all the help for me coming from my grandparents.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 29
    twister723 Don't do it. No matter how much you would give them, they will always want more, and still degrade you when you say no. Make sure you keep that card well hidden.
    via twister723
  • 30
    OP Kaiyioro I always keep my card with me because I'd be worried it would be stolen.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 31
    Zestyclose-Custard-2 Tell your mother you will love her forever if she stops pressuring her only child (?) to support her husband's children for him. NTA
    via Zestyclose-Custard-2
  • 32
    OP Kaiyioro I'm her only bio child. She sometimes claims her husband's kids are hers, other times she says I'm her only child.
    via Kaiyioro
  • 33
    Readabook23 It's shocking that your mom expects you to provide for her. Does she work? Why doesn't she get food stamps? Unemployment? Etc
    via Readabook23
  • 34
    OP Kaiyioro My mom works part time. I think between her and her husband they make just over what's needed for help. But I'm not too sure.
    via Kaiyioro

  • As long as the daughter is living under her mom's roof, she will always have to look over her shoulder to make sure her parents don't take what is hers. Hopefully, it won't be long before she can leave them all behind.

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Tags

family drama aita babysitter kids mother siblings parenting aunt entitled family grandparents sister money parents children entitled people Father
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